Happiness is an inside job - but WHO AM I?

Happiness is an inside job

- but WHO AM I?

Different stages and scenarios 

`I have the right to... - mindset`


The snow is falling here I live, it`s falling HARD, and often when I wander back and forth to the bus I wonder how your doing in your home... wherever you are. What do you define as your home? A home where you feel like yourself... that is what I will call a true home of our hearts. Your home may be filled with lot`s of decorations in this season of the year. CHRISTMAS IS HERE! Your home may be filled with none decorations at all - most importantly we must always fill our hearts with love and decorate our own soul.


As I`ve lived through this year I`ve said goodbye several times, both to reoccurring anxiety during times where I was feeling my glass was half empty - that  was when I was looking outwards to find the love I knww I deserved within... I found myself every time... peaceful. Let me explain this a bit for you. My anxiety could rise pretty high, as it would occur when I was dealing with past memories (  I see myself as healed now, but the year of 2017 has been pointing out those tiny bits that I also needed to work more on - showing me people who did not appreciate me ( as a little part of me was unhealed) this people kept on reoccurring into my life, and they still are to a minor degree. I am so full of light and love, for me it`s hard to `put away` and `hide` that I`m positive, I am mostly HAPPT, but for month`s of 2017 I felt like I had to hide aways - though we never should do that to ourself.





Well, as soon as I did shine my light - people kept on showing up and treating me bad, it got to a point where I also made an appointment with somebody... to TELL them how I should be treated with respect. Then... finally I let go, so if pieces of you are unhealed - don`t be so hard on yourself. Your a work of art! Just as I am working on myself. When I blog, write and draw people can mistake this for an artistic being filled with pain, but they could not be more wrong - I am so filled with love that it literally makes me cry sometimes. The pain I could feel... it the pain that comes from the world. I try to mention this as often as I can -> I dream about what`s to come ( not all) I see and FEEL your pain. I sometimes hear YOUR thoughts - and therefore worries to you and everyone else around. For me it`s hard to find out where it all comes from. My mind goes to `delete mode´ as I try to puzzle and figure out one piece at the time. So, here is a blog starting about `I have the right to` because I felt I had the right to stop my light from shining into our world, but in fact, our lights are needed the most these days as more and more sensitive people are taking up on each others feelings - feeling like they have to say/do and shine so much <- that it makes them go into the same old trap as I did (and I know for sure I will meet in once in a while still) I completely shut down. Is this you also? Being so sensitive that you have to withdraw? I stopped smiling so much. In some way I thought I was sparing myself from pain, but as I kept my mouth shut and my voice quiet... it did not keep people from harming others ( those who are not awaken and see no longer than their own nose) in some way I felt like I was contributing to this behavior ( this clearly did not make me feel any better at all!) since I knew then

(and know know) my light does matter to those few people who are ready to see my light and to hear my truth of wisdom. 2018... The rainbow year :) Mark my words.


We all are wise

Someone out there will teach you

to get to know yourself within

by shining their own light upon you


So here we get to the good part!  Not everyone you meet are aligned with your reality. I know many people who see me filled with light or easier said, they know I`m kind, and that I want to listen to them. Then you have those people you meet - they are not kind to you, they are in fact telling you straight out what`s wrong with you - they are in a state of mind where  they think they have the right too, and that they really do believe how they see you is who you are - when your not at all. Your a reflections of everyone you meet. Both good and bad. 



Understanding different mindsets,


behaviors, patterns,

rules of society,


at last our formal activities 


and our masks



Understanding different mindsets 


There is nothing more funny when people discover for themselves

- that they are the ones putting a mask on you

and there is nothing more sad ( in that same particular situation) is when you realize your mask is all someone likes about you, they would not treat you kindly if you ever showed them your true self. I like to think of myself as a kind of a joker. I easily play with makeup and different haircoulrs, wear boring clothes and fun colorful ones... and sometimes people take me for being this outgoing cool and FUN girl, and that is absolutely true in some ways, since I`m in deeply contact with my own inner child, but when a child makes fun of me - because I look different, or a grown up for that matter - I get a chance to show my inner glow. I smile at people when I feel they are not seeing me for me, and sometimes I don`t smile to them, I walk past them when noticing they judge me or think I`m no good - because I wear makeup. On other days people can talk behind my back, then again I smile to them, or just look at them like `Hey, I`m human you know` ( but I`m really not) I see glimpses of respect in some of those eyes, who are both thinking of me differently. The fact I`m telling you this... is because I`m so aware of my own light! Most people are afraid of happy people, the people who seeks me out the most... are people who are looking outside for glimpses of others light to shine upon them. Is this you? I say it again. I rather be completely ALONE rather then hang around someone I don`t feel comfortable around. My cat`s think I`m cool, they don`t send out that much bad vibes always... like you and me do. Like ALL of us people do. For me this can be a bit problematic, since I`m a healer. I don`t say I HEAL a lot of people, I say YOU can heal yourself, because as I`ve mentioned before I`ve chosen not to heal ( unless we count in my prayers for all you out there, and our children and our animals of the world) because my body absorb other peoples pain. I already have quite enough with absorbing all of your thinking - energies! I thought for a long time someone should have taught me this when I was younger... then I realized I did not know anyone else but me who could - so I started up Balanse I Sjelen <- the norwegian version, and then I got going with Balance In Soul. I want you to know how much you affect your whole LIFE by your THOUGHTS! This is how quick it goes:


1 You see a person for the first time

2 You think something good about that person

and that person becomes a part of your next happy experience

3 You think something bad about that person

and you experience ( probably) something bad in your life

4 You meet me ( or a HEALER) who feel your energy

then we absorb your energy and give you the best we can,

and at the same time... we walk away with your pain as well


I hope you read this with open eyes ( or else you would not be here, right?) I can feel life is joking around with me ( wearing pink hair and feeling GOOD about waking up) then I run into this little boy who I choose to cheer up a bit. Then this boy start talking about another problem, and I realize I don`t have to absorb all his sorrows ( there are people around the next block to meet you know) so I try to joke with him, tell him something good about life, say I understand and come up with an similar episode from when I was a child... and so on. This happens so very often to me -

I CAN`T FIX YOU if you don want to be fixed! For a brief moment I realize I just have to let go of trying to help this boy. He is caught in his ideas about the world, and for all I know... it may only last for five more seconds, or perhaps he goes home to place where they don`t meditate and explain their kids about how you can make yourself feel good about counting your blessings throughout your day? I would not be alive if I was not a master a counting my blessing and I still manage to forget it from time to time. So, where you are now... there is something fantastic to grateful for, for once - your reading this blog and YOU are ALIVE!


This little boy clearly had a different mindset than me, at it happens very rarely for me that I meet up `with a match` so just when I was feeling down, as I started out writing about in this todays blog... I meet them. I meet the healers, they that are the same as me! I know we all have something very important to contribute with. For me not wearing makeup AND going back to wearing makeup has awaken me all over again. I know I`m not my looks, but when I go past people who throw they bad energy at me... I can`t help to notice this happens a lot more often when I wear comfortable clothes, dresses I feel nice in, my hair fluffed and styled. I say often to myself that I know they are just looking on my outside, but it still HURTS, because I`m sensitive... and you know what hurts the most? The thought of all the sensitive people out there who are carrying hurt that belongs to other people... and that they - as me... probably has lived a HARD life and yes, learned a lot so they can teach and be someones blessing, but still they are the ones who get isolated the most. Just like myself in the year of 2017. At the same time... Never feel sorry for the sensitive person - if you know someone like this. Maybe you call them a `loner` a `lonesome wold` or `weird` or `the black sheep` perhaps they are gifted and more talented than most people too ( LOL) Truth being told, this are the strongest people around us, and here is a little update - and please comment below of what you think about what I mentioned briefly above about the RAINBOW YEAR that is coming...


2018 is the year when young people will WAKE UP


This will mostly be children who do something different,

`the odd one out` as I like to say it.

This was told to me in one of my dreams. 

If you don`t believe me now, but find yourself discovering

a very smart boy or a talented girl, or more

vage signs like: extreme kindness, carefully listener with amazing insight...

then your living around the next generation that will make

our vibes hit that roof top! Please listen to them!


Behaviors & patterns


I`m a creature of habits - as long as I can switch them up from time to time, I call this regulating myself so I can keep my good habits lasting in the long run. Works for me! This means that you can observe that you are the one who seek out this grumpy boy, but instead of `consulting` him and making him joyful about life - take this as a learning experience. Don`t seek out people who are not vibing very high, but if you find yourself already there you can listen to them but you don`t have to follow up and join in on their `sad things to think about in life´ so you don`t have to do neither. YOU CAN JUST BE! We meet people everywhere and at anytime ( or go to the woods as I do once in a while, relax and chill I`ve noticed a lot of happy people go there too) we cannot control everything around us, but we can practice on changing our own patterns. I do this by being still, taking deep breaths if someone in the same room as me starts to argue. If I know them and they are seeking out my opinion I will give it to them - in a friendly manner, if I`m not respected I will walk away. Yesterday I made a video about where I talk about how we can look into our hearts, and there is one more thing to mention about opening our hearts at this part of the year. First we must be willing to let go of our hurts, and we must be open to all good that is offered to us - no matter what is is or what hold it comes from! We cannot see how everyone are beautiful just by one action or that they look good on the outside, but if someone all the time show you their kindness, tries to make you laugh ( even when their jokes are not funny) being sweet to you in the short moments of life that you do meet... then give something of YOU back. We don`t have to smile all the time ( that would make our face muscles going crazy being so stiff) but we can look at them a bit longer, and try to smile. I think of a white light that goes from me like a bond out to there on the other side of the world perhaps. We people are not so far away, we are all connected. We inspire each other by doing good. When you see someone helping someone out it makes you carry hope in your heart, right? I want you to perform this exercise to release some pain from your life


1 Write down what`s not good in your life right now

2 Write what kind of change you want happen

3 Ask yourself `What kind of pattern do I need to let go of first?´


This is a good exercise because it makes you really aware of both your true pain

(it`s strange how writing can makes us write something totally different down than what we were thinking we should write <-> that`s just is, we write down what our subconscious are spinning around all the time in the background of that noise we call our own thoughts!


I suggest you do this exercise so you can discover and let go of several patterns you hold within yourself, and as your getting good at this, try to add number 4

`How can I resolve this in a better way?` The reason I don`t want you to add number four the first time is simply because that we humans have a tendency to correct ourself - AND stressing out about that fact that we are... so in being able to totally letting go, we have to learn ourself to loose the focus from `fixing` where the problem is really all about letting go of pain in the first place.



- How to find YOU

You just have to 


Rules of society & norms

Not the mind blowing words you wanted to read perhaps? Let me collaborate with you, if your being sad one day and your momentum are all gone  ( see my video about momentum and what it is if you don`t know) and here you were planning to have a great day out with a friend, or maybe having someone over for a vegan meal (YUM, invite me please) a vegan snack perhaps? You were not at all planning to be where you find yourself at, bumping heads with your boss ( even your the only one thinking about that thing you two talked about...) crying over that argument that never should have happened, or just being sad by thinking about some old memories popping up... and then holding on to them, or thinking about the lost and forgotten times of your life... This is when you meet Miranda (!) as you usually bump into from time to time ( Yes, the TV show version) you meet her at her best and what do you do? YOU PUT ON A fake SMILE. Let`s rewind... I mentioned up above about how I choose to just breath, and this let us fall into the naturally state of just being. Then we become aware. Miranda probably has picked up that your having the worst day anyway ( someone has their vibes on, and some of us choose not) so Miranda is feeling your vibe in this case, probably wanting to go away to not catch whatever state you are in, but hey, it`s you - you two use to talk ( creatures of habits us human) so why not? But now... instead of smiling and just going along you are in contact with your breath, your feeling your body, you stand more comfortable, you talk at a slower speed or maybe you speed up to the way she is talking back to you? Either way, you feel more real, so you say it like it is `You know what, I`m having a off day`  but there... as you catch your breath once more, you notice your voice and the tone of your voice. Instead of going on about all the bad things, you choose to talk about what was actually going to happen today, how you have looked forward to this event and so on. Miranda reminds you everyone has bad days, and as you talk with her you start to feel better, and Miranda goes away - thinking your an even better person than she already thought you were! <- Why is this so? Because when we are R E A L we fall back to our natural state of B E I N G, I wanted to show you a person like a Happy Miranda, because we all can relate to this person. Some people would rather like you to talk about all that`s going bad... so they can load of some packages of their own miserable ways of thinking about themselves on to you. Do yourself a favor AND BREATH (Aaaah!) :)


Our formal activities 



and our masks


Most people live their lives filled with structure and many obligations. I understand... `this is what our society is built upon` as a young I often was told to be quiet, not to have an opinion - that worked me in the direction of me being filled with wonderful of magical question for the rest of my life  - because I`m still the one to ask questions and don`t rely on anything that has the final line that says `Because that`s the way it is` My question will be in this example of mine

`How can we continue to contribute to be building a life giving more meaning for us all? Is this not the right time to make changes and evolve? Why look at the past when we can build our future in this moment? What if all starts with people learning how to love themselves again so they can give themselves a foundation that will build them up from their inside, making them belive they can make a change, making them think they are worthy of so much more, giving them back their own strength to they can follow their passion, live their dream... and create hope among the lost ones? ` My life is very different from yours... because I know that is how you feel, that is how we ALL feel. We never get seen for all that we do. Does it matter? OF COURSE! This makes you a better version of yourself, this gives you this strength I mentioned so you can build upon your dreams. 

Start with 5 minutes a day <- is something I say, and start today!

As I was juggling kinds around, observing, helping, cleaning, talking, dancing, playing, listening (and all that comes with working with children) I also worked on my thoughts ( yes, back to my favorite subject) while working. I said things to myself like `I learn so much where I am at` <- being in the moment

`I know how to do my job more joyful` <- working on my mood

`I disslike this` <- I know what I don`t want in my life

`I want to do more of this instead....`

and as I started noticing how I evolved my own mindset,

I saw how happiness was literally following me all around all day!

`I`m a magnet for spreading joy and happiness all different places´

I stopped complaining ( in my thoughts) and started


I also did one more thing... I let fully go of my mask!

If people said I was doing something wrong in my work

( hard to be a sensitive getting all the blame in the room)

I would just listen to them, I started to listen more to my sensitive self

in a really good way - I started to THINK about how hard it must

be to be a parent and experience what they were saying to me...

as I did I started to care for them - and it showed in my every move!

The children LOVED me for it, they became instant happy when they

just saw that glimpse of my colored hair. Children are so attracted to

colors we wear.... and as the mask ( not from wearing makeup)

but the mask from not DARING to be fully me... came off

I started to see the good in the bad. I see my mistakes as something exiting

is here for me to learn. I follow a path I know I belong to. I follow the good

voice inside of me, and not the void inside... That void wanting attention, to bee seen, to have more, to feel more. I started paying notice to my own needs, putting myself first, taking care of me... and then I could listen to others, and make

them feel seen. Toss that mask of yours! It only holds you back from the right people entering your life, and you will not evolve in the direction you are longing so much for. Here are some steps to take to get out of a boring route so you can evolve and feel better about yourself and where your life is headed!


1 Follow your dreams at work, talk about your dreams, show people what you can do

2 Listen to your work colleague, share your opinion - no matter what it is

3 Make a treat! Okey, a vegan treat is NICE, but also do something at your office/ workspace that everyone will benefit from! Maybe this could be cleaning out that

dirty old fridge? Suggest you all give each other a massage on the shoulders at the end of the week? ( I would happily say yes to one right now!) find something you know you can contribute with, and start doing this as often as you can. It does not have to take you hours to do, it can be a funny plan to come up with something nice that will fill your workspace with that love only YOU have inside of you. 


All that matters in the end is to express yourself fully. I often discover myself

`Now I feel shy, but hey - that`s okay´

`I think I`m mad - and with good reason to`


and then... I LET GO.


I meditate, I take a nap I feel like it. I eat what

I want when I feel like it. I choose to be HAPPY

I choose to be me.

I also allow myself to be real.

I`m not fantastic ( but sometimes I am YEJ)

just as you don`t have to impress anybody.

The right people will come to you


Take it from a lone wolf - who never get`s bored

of waking up to feel how GOOD & GREAT this life is.


I wish you a good night




and a 



2018 - The rainbow year

Remember that ;)