Lets encourage the
children of our world!
`Hi Peter ` I say to the boy across the room - he looks like he is in big discomfort at first sight - but as I say his name - his eyes - oh how they GLOW! When you greet a child - remember their name. Ever heard a child get upset because you did not remember their name - for the child itself its like not being remembered for the person that they are. Explain to the children every time - that you are practicing to memorize so many name so it has to show patience with you.
HOW to remember a child is easy, so how about remembering their name too?
Our brain is really funny in this way - sometimes you can `put labels `on to your `memory cap`.
I do this by repeating every day ( start before work and before you get home) `Peter is that shy kid` `Emma likes a good laugh` `Tia and I shared a nice memory decorating with flowers on the brown table ` The more labels you have in the situations that occurs - the easier it will be for your brain to remember each and every children's name .... I always used the affirmation below when working with children.
`I remember every name. Its easy for me, I practice remembering by always using their name `
Its no secret that the child will feel more SEEN, and that`s all what we really want, and YOU as the grownup will soon be a master at remembering them all - and if you should say the wrong name ( our funny brain hits strike again) tell the child you also make mistakes! Here you do two things at once - your admitting your not perfect ( children needs this, especially in our todays society) AND not are you only willingly telling them so, you are making it OKAY for them to feel okay with all the things they are THINKING they cannot accomplish.
BIG BONUS, huh?
Encouragement happens when we says a child`s name!
` Sarah, would you be a gem and throw back that ball to Emma while Tim and I go to the bathroom to see what John and Michael is up to?` I say with a laugh in my voice.
This was me before - always telling multiple children the same message I was really telling them what I was seeing from a far - while telling them who I was with, what I was doing and at the same time letting them know - I did notice EVRYONE if someone left the playing area I was within.
As a sensitive person you NOTICE a lot more ( it can make you exhausted, so please take a rest if this is you)
In the sentence above you show all the children several things.
- You are seeing them ALL
- You are active in playing/ being there/ In THEIR NOW
-You keep them all safe by noticing them in what they are doing
If you have been practicing this for a while, brings me to how long should you practice this scenario... FOREVER :-)
As time go you will notice how children will TRUST you - in ways you hardly would believe they can express they do. This is the time when you can add something to the same scenario as above ( or the one you have created and gotten good and comfortable in for yourself. This may be you in the swimming hall, you playing basket with the same group of children, you reading english for the same child when surrounded by others... and so on ). Lets repeat the one about as an example.
` Sarah, would you be a gem and throw back that ball to Emma while Tim and I go to the bathroom to see what John and Michael is up to? Remy, is it okay you go and ask Mia to play with her? She also loves to jump the rope... `
Now you can add a `DO THING ` children LOVE to do things for YOU... when your able to show them that all that you do - comes from a loving space.
When working with children I always found a way to be and FEEL loving towards them. The children saw it as a special price IF I asked them to do something for me. There is a lot for children to do today, Im not talking about `cleaning up` or `doing their chores ` or all those obligations and rutines...
Im talking about that one little task you ask as a favor ... When you ask, the children notice several things as you really accomplish to SEE them ALL.
1 You ASKED Remy
2 All the children notice you have chosen him ( remember to select someone else the next time)
3 Remy feel he is trustworthy and he now knows you trust HIM out of all the other children
4 All the children WANTS to be asked ... BY YOU!
When you sit still and are focused on ONE child. Take your time. This child is looking up to you. Never fall under the impression that a young soul doesn't know much about life. Some of the greatest children Ive met in my life has been holding on to grief and experiences that makes me cry at heart. You never know what a child can carry, so be very present with this one important being of our humankind. Take a deep breath if YOU experience feeling frustrated yourself. This comes from YOUR inside - then always go back to the child explaining...
Listen to this child. Does it tell you a lot? Do you have to ` work a little `to get the conversation going? Does this child knows its funny? If not, joke and `loosen up` ( this does good for you too) Does this child struggle with something particular? YOU can help it GROW! If the child seems obsessed about its looks, mistakes, the way it pronounce words, or the way it seems concerned, or think the world observes him or her, the way the child behaves `wrong `, starts correcting itself, tells about its mistakes, how its scared.... or it just dont feel comfortable. You can do so MANY THINGS to affect their reality!
You can show your `funny side `or be very serious with a child that everyone takes for being a joker....
Talk about animals, about what you liked to do when you were young, make a little fun of yourself, and never forget to show children your greatest gift!
( I still meet children who introduce me to children I dont know - telling them `THATS the lady who can DRAW, then I feel like Im a superhero for a minute. I cleverly respond `I do remember that unicorn you made...knowingly - now the child goes aways amazed, since its two years Ive worked with them) Well, that was a digression all about me. I could tell you so many amazing stories in all my meetings with every child Ive ever met! Lets talk more about YOU, that why your here right? Thanks for reading my blog by the way.
Who are you as a person at work? What YOU define yourself to be... is what the kids will see. Sometimes the children will give you funny names - let them. Sometimes they will joke about your appearance, sometimes the child will use a language that dont suits our environment - know that every children talks like they are brought up to be ( no matter if their parents will admit it or not, LOL) Be gentle with them, learn children how to use better words to improve their lives. Play a game with them - and make it a part of the game aping their behavior (as long as its appropriate - explain you meant it as something funny if they dont understand. Yes, always return to explaining WHY you DO the things you choose to do) let the CHILD be you in different role plays - here you learn how they see you, and therefore how to improve! Look for the special skills this exact child has, if you have been encouraging a child you know you have truly succeeded when the child itself announce proudly after a while ` I learned this from Rita ` running around, showing everyone what it can do, how you showed them how to do it. Soon you will see this child be the on making other practice for hours and hours... just because YOU chose to ENCOURAGE one child.
We live in a hurry, saying to ourselves `Time goes by so fast `
Time is an illusion, a number - something WE as humans once made up
as I say
Take your time with every child, but how you ask? ` Its IMPOSSIBLE, Im to busy at work!`
I promise you... its possible. Who of these children need you the most RIGHT NOW? I always kept in thought while going to work.... WHAT I would say ( thinking about yesterday) that day. I started visualizing every day while walking to my work - and.... I always lived to see all my manifestations come true. TRY IT!
I also always `took some notes behind my ear ` while walking home each day also. We cannot control all that happens in life - neither should we, we loose our interest and energy if we do. So as I was walking ( our brain works in mysterious ways when we walk, just trust me as a poet and a writer) I was thinking about little Peter - how he started crying when he misunderstood and thought he was left outside of the school-play.
I saw how Emma and Tim were becoming closer friends. I know knew why those boys had forgotten about time while they were in the bathroom making funny expressions in the mirror. I thought about what I could improve - how to be a better me. I thought about all the wonderful gifts I was given from this day - whispering a THANK YOU UNIVERSE for knowing my place. I thought of all my effort in all that I had given - I could not have done it in another way.
Then finally... I let the day go.... Now I went home to being fully me - its by being FULLY YOU. Allowing yourself to FEEL, to BE and to ACCEPT both wrongs and all the good things you do... Yes, I know you as a teacher, assistent, adult, parent ( hey why label ourselves?) I KNOW that you as a PERSON, in fact... A SOUL - you did the very best thing that you could do today. Dont give up on yourself, because we are all here to improve! I strive for being a better me every day, I believe I can, and mostly - I truly belive in you out there. I know you have such a BIG HEART, and I can promise I have shared my tears over fears in earlier worklife.
Its okay, you and I are not perfect. Still - we are perfect just as we are. Belive in yourself my friend.
Remember encouraging our children of the world lies in
- The way you move your body
- The way you talk about yourself and others
- How sweet and gentle your voice can be
- LISTENING by REMEMBERING the experiences
- BEING in THE NOW with ALL of your HEART at play!
The best encouragement a child can get is from the adult who tries everyday to improve him or herself.