BREATH DEEP INTO YOUR HEART
Breath in. Breath out. A new morning, in fact a new day is here. Let yesterdays worries fade and away. You breath in and breath out anyway. What do you seek in this day?
What are your wishes?
What do you wish to give?
Go through your day, knowing everyone you meet just need their own heart - give them a smile and remind them as this day is a new start.
We all need love. You are love my love
You may already have read some similar words? Good. They may seem simple - and somewhere deep inside I long for your to understand how deep an impact these same words has had to my whole life experience. When living a life in fear and with anxiety is common - nothing else are! Living a fear based life I could nearly breath, and why should I? Did I want to feel all the things I knew I was feeling deep inside so deeply?
H... no!!! ( pardon my language) In a few words, I would like to tell you out there who are reading this - I truly know how it feels to how lost it all - the most cruel and intense feeling of all - the sense of loosing yourself. Feeling you are going insane, people telling you are, and here you are trying your best every day. Trying to survive.
I`ve learned to meet people in another way with this thought:
`We are all trying our best`
It may not seem like it, but we all are.
So losing myself I did, I started believing others. They were telling me I had anxiety ( doctors) they were telling me I should eat a certain way ( I believed I had eating disorders) I believed so many things, so I kept telling myself this myself, but one thing I did not know - was how I could change all these believes. Until I got tired of worrying every day, tired of not `letting it alt loose` so... I cried. It took months... and years, and still I can be reminded of these routines that ones I thought was my one and only life - my brain can jump right back into an past experience and I can react with anxiety ( but never so deep as it was) I can feel troubled, many thoughts can come back. The clue was for me
( and had been there all along) I had a strong passion - TO CREATE.
To many thought`s = SUPER CREATIVE!!!!!!!!!!!
As Im writing this I want you as a reader to understand where I`m coming from. I`m coming from a heart space, I`m writing this because I know that in todays society a lot of people struggle with depression, ADHD, anxiety and other profound diagnoses. I truly belive they can HEAL THEMSELVES, yes, I belive you can. So as I go further into how, I know I must take you to some of my love points of a lived life. My life. We can sum it up and `Hey, this was some pretty shitty mind-blowing experiences...` ( excuse my language) or you can start by imagine how desperate you will feel if someone else took full control over your own body. So this one time ( there I was crying, trying not to scream because I was to afraid, knowing the consequences to come) I had no clue how damaged I was, and certainly not how damaged I would be... after experiencing similar situations like this over and over... and over again. I was escaping the NOW, so this meant I could not even try to dream about the future. Every day I got stuck more and more in my past. Thinking this was how my life was meant to be.
Now I know how to live in the moment. I take a deep breath.
I am here now!
And so are you my friend. So are you. Just breath, it will be okay. ( I know you don`t believe me, just know I belive in you) :-)
So there I was stuck living my past life over and over again, no place to hide or run ( I promise you I`ve tried) I remember trying to sleep outside once, when there was winter here in Norway - one of the coldest day. There I was with my thin sweater, summer jacket, and only some skinny jeans. I had run away from... home? No there was no home for me. I`d like to add that I was 18 at this time - not living with my parents. So being cold, having just myself - and being very afraid... this was me several years ago. Now I live a calm life. I am the one being happy with `the smaller gifts of life` and somewhere I thought this must have been a poor person - being able to think this way. Now I understand this makes me one of the richest people in the world. I truly appreciate every day I am given - even the days when I`m walking down memory lane once again, crying my eyes out - just to once again being able to recognize there was some more information I had to gather there - so I can learn more
- so I can make you help yourself or at least... understand why you function the way you do.
Every thing you have experience up and until this point gives your life deep value. You know something now one else know - teach them!
There is no magic trick to get rid of your anxiety or other problems that occurs trough our lives. I will try to give you a little recipe of how you can start right here and now to create a better life for yourself. Step one, look into your mirror. Ask yourself `What am I feeling right now?` This can be a hard one... you may not succeed at first, but keep on doing this every day, and one day the tears will flow down your cheek, then you are ready for step two.
Day by day I improve myself.
Today I`m given a new day - I know I am lucky that way!
So crying your eyes out makes me want to say something to you about energy - the energy you send out into the world. So since I`m writing I will use a little bit of my own experience with the earlier energies I was sending out - and getting back as an example. I believed people would harm me - because this was my main experience in life. I was afraid, afraid of being stalked ( since I`ve experience this and nearly got killed) My brain was focusing on all the things I did not want to happened - you will be shocked of the amount of how often I`ve experienced new people started to stalk me. So I started to telling myself this instead:
`This will also pass`
`This will also pass`
`This will also pass`
Standing in front of the mirror I kept on saying `This will also pass` and... so it did. I still uses this phrase a lot.
YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR OWN REALITY RIGHT NOW. Step two, is saying to yourself: `Everything is going to be okay` - in what ever way you choose to - just remember something about strong words... your ears are listening!
I know the energies I invest in - also will get back to me, both good and bad. `I give out good - so I receive what`s good!`
When you live your life (either you mostly feel everything is a bliss or the h - word, but let`s be honest here - you would not have been reading this blog if everything was just fine :) ) your are sending out energies and attracting certain situations and specific people into your own world. This is why you can see other at a distant having such a different life then the life you are experiencing yourself. This often creates a illusion that people are having a better life than yours, and thoughts like `Why does he have it all together when we work at the same office?` or you may be thinking `I wonder what she does different, maybe it`s just the way she looks...` so we start to judge one another - and that is why other people live a better life than you do.
You are a soul!
Crying my bones out... I decided life should be more, I should be very happy instead. I decided I was happy every day! So I am. Every day, also the days I cry my bones out - before this crying was every day... and still I was smiling, now it comes as a shocking reminder from time to time `Did I really experience this?` yes I did, and it all seem so far away. Knowing how my life once were, I know you can change yours to dear reader. I truly belive in you. I know you are much more then what people think you are, what matters is what you think for yourself. Who do you think you are? Some kind of a superstar? ;) Yes, we in fact all are! Step three, go to your mirror - or are you still crying your eyeballs out? Just do that, it is pretty awesome how we human can cry and forgive almost anything. I belive this I why humans cry... I can write something about forgiveness later dear reader, for now... go to your mirror and say
I LOVE YOU!
It`s okay if you don`t believe this, just keep on saying it every day. Look into your own eyes, know you are a soul. You came here to be love. You deserve love. Show the world what kind of love you expect to get back - this has been the hardest one for me. I was diagnosed with PTSD
( hard to belive I managed life as well as I did - when these flashbacks haunted me from another world) I was not able to function as other, I were living in a `escape and flight mode` thinking the world was out to get me - and know I`m writing this with all my love to you. You can survive this awful feeling, this memories that are haunting you day and night. You shall shine so bright! Step three, is to breath. I mean BREATH and BREATH DEEP into your belly. See it expands. ( I know it can feel dreadful, certainly if you are telling yourself you are having eating disorders) after a while you will get used to it, and probably come to love it as it changes the way you look at life!
As you breathe in imagine a white light comes flowing into your own body. You are taking the breath of life, the breaths of love. Breath out, release you love for life - no wait and see same love comes flowing back to you. See in the mirror - do you see a new you?
In stressed situations I take a deep breath ( in fact I do not experience so many stressed situations any longer, I just love to take deep breaths ! ) you should try this too. This will clear up your mind, and you will become more aware of the now - and what you and others are truly saying. Coming from a place of extreme panic attacks this has helped me big time - I leave my apartment ... breathing - knowing I am safe. So I speak love, and love comes back to me. This past days I`ve had to go through some old thoughts, just to realize what I already knew - how important it is to breath from a loving space. So breath deep down dear friend ( even if we have not met) you are not who you think you are, but who you decide to be. I hope you will put every person you meet today in a surrounding light of love.
We all need this today. I need it as much as you do. Our world needs your love.
I am feeling...
This will also pass...
I am love...
I wish you the best day - every day!